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• Epigraphs

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• Introduction: Off-Brand Me

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• 1. Occupied

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• 2. Enter Covid, the Threat Multiplier

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• 3. My Failed Brand, or Call Me by Her Name

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• 4. Meeting Myself in the Woods

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• 5. They Know About Cell Phones

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• 6. Diagonal Lines

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• 7. MAGA’s Plus-One

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• 8. Ridiculously Serious, Seriously Speechless